


To Build A Home

by orphan_account



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Shiro is the best bro, Team Bonding, he needs a hug, jumping on the pining!Keith bandwagon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:03:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8358388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “It’s Lance… isn’t it.” After traveling through space, piloting lion ships, battling enemies left, right and centre and taking a toll much larger than any teenager should, it’s realizing that he loves Lance that becomes the hardest thing he’s ever had to deal with.





	

**Author's Note:**

> my sweet baby boy just needs some love~~
> 
> title from Cinematic Orchestra's song of the same name, listen to that when you read this oh man

Keith didn’t have a lot of friends at the Garrison. Or really, he didn’t have any.

He was used to being by himself. His whole life, ever since his parents passed away when he was young, he’d been through so many foster homes he had gotten used to not getting attached to people.

So he’d pass his classes with flying colours, spent most of his time training, sitting by himself as the days flew by. Some nights he would sit on the roof, looking up at the stars, wondering if his parents would be proud of him.

One day he started hearing rumours about his skills being compared to an upperclassmen - Takashi Shirogane. He was surprised, a bit flustered, even. He found the courage to approach him one day, and Takashi (or Shiro, he was asked to call him) was every bit as nice as people said.

Keith thought this was the first time he could actually make a friend here.

But then Shiro was selected for the year long mission to Kerberos, and Keith tried to cope with the fact that he would be alone again. As much as people assumed he liked to be by himself, he hated it.

After Shiro left, Keith was, by default, labeled as the Garrison’s new golden boy. He didn’t like the term, didn’t want more attention drawn to him, so he went back to his old routine and kept his head down.

He heard a boy shout out to him one day that he was going to do everything he could to beat Keith at his own game. Keith looked for the source of the noise, seeing a tall boy on the other side of the cafeteria, surrounded by his friends with a gorgeous smile on his face.

Keith learnt one day that his name was Lance.

Keith saw him in the hallways occasionally, always chatting with someone, always confident. Keith wished he had the courage to talk to him. But Lance would always send him glares, wording more threats to jump ahead of Keith and become the better flyer.

As strange as it was to say, Keith could admit he craved the attention.

He pretended not to notice Lance, knowing it would get Lance all riled up. Keith would make sure his face was out of sight before he allowed himself to smile slightly. Some night’s he even dreamt about Lance, nothing big, just flashes of his laugh or smile, and Keith always woke up with a smile of his own the next morning.

One night when he went to go and work on his combat skills, he saw Lance by himself in the training room. The boy had moves, Keith could admit, and he was a hell of a good shot with the bows the Garrison supplied for them. Keith watched him from the door for a while, admiring him, wishing he could introduce himself, start up an actual friendship instead of this weird rivalry. Chewing on the inside of his mouth, fingers twitching, he turned around instead to go back to bed, an empty feeling in his chest.

 

-

 

When the news broke out about the Kerberos mission failing due to pilot error, Keith grew worried. They were hardly given any information on the incident, claiming there was nothing they could do to go and save them. It had Keith pacing back and forth in his room most nights, thoughts of Shiro clouding his mind.

There was no way it could have been a pilot mission, Keith believed in Shiro enough to know he was one of the best men selected for the mission. Something happened, he just knew it.

Ignoring the rules for it to stay hush-hush he started asking around, seeing who else knew more details, wanting answers. Shiro had been Keith’s first genuine friend here, he felt horrible just sitting around and doing nothing. He stormed into Commander Iverson’s office one day, disregarding his rank as he demanded to know what really happened.

“Kogane, stand down or I will not hesitate to use drastic measures.”

“Where is he? You’re all hiding something, I know it!” Keith threw his fist down on Ivenson’s desk, papers falling to the ground.

Iverson leveled him with a look. “You’re the best we have, Kogane. I will give you one more warning; Stand. Down. Cadet.”

Keith let his emotions take over, rage encompassing him as he picked up one of the chairs in the office and threw it against the wall.

“That’s it, Kogane, pack your things! There will be a car outside waiting to take you home. You’re done here.” Iverson spits, clearly disappointed, but Keith paid him no attention.

He threw what little he had into his bag, tearing his uniform up for good measure, and slinked out one of the back exits over to the main hangar. He eyed a hovercraft he knew he could pilot easy, revving up the engine and speeding out into the cold night. He spent the next few months in an abandoned shack, bringing it back to life day by day, only allowing himself monthly visits into the nearby town for supplies. He tired himself out every day by searching through the caves nearby, frustrated that he couldn’t figure out the source of the energy he was feeling.

Occasionally he thought about the Garrison, where they think he went, if they even noticed an aircraft of theirs went missing. He thought about Lance, wondered how happy he might be to see Keith gone, see the competition wiped out. He shook the thought away, squeezing his eyes shut and begging for sleep.

After his 9th trip into town for supplies, as he was driving back he felt something. He couldn’t explain it, this inclination, this tugging that was pulling him back to towards the Garrison. He decided to go with his instincts, wrapping a bandana around his face and speeding off into in the direction of the call. He saw some tents set up, guards hovering, and he figured he would need a good distraction to draw them away.

He fired some shots into the distance using a hand held mortar he stole when he left, and waited for the right moment to sneak in. He knocked out the medical doctors scattered around the room with ease, and finally he walked over the person they had been identifying. It was Shiro. Keith could hardly believe it, a million and one questions flooding his mind, but he pushed himself into gear and set the man free of his restraints.

Suddenly several more figures appeared, and Keith was in alert mode before he recognised them, or more accurately, before he recognised _Lance_. He couldn’t believe the odds.

“Oh no, no, no, no - no you don’t, _I’m_ going to rescue Shiro,” Lance says as he moved closer, grabbing Shiro’s other limp arm and draping it over his shoulder.

Keith isn’t sure why he does it, but he pretends he doesn’t know Lance, figures it’s the easiest thing.

“Uh, the name’s _Lance_.”

Keith knows.

“We were in the same class at the Garrison - we were like rivals!”

Keith fidgets, trying to maintain eye contact and still pretending not to remember, secretly liking that Lance really did seem to pay attention to him back at school. Until Lance mentions his joy of Keith becoming a wash-out so he could finally shoot to the top and then Keith feels that wave of sadness crash over him again, and he tried to keep his lips from tugging down.  

They barely manage to escape since the hovercraft really wasn’t built for 5 people. He can’t help but direct a jab at Lance, still hurt from Lance’s obvious dislike towards Keith. When they arrive at his shack Keith tells them all about what he’s found since he left the Garrison, feeling rather excited that this all hasn’t been a waste of time. When they find the blue lion, Keith can’t help but watch Lance the entire time, a feeling of fondness wash over him as Lance flies them up into space.

He tries to ignore what that could mean.

 

-

 

After they had successfully formed Voltron that first time, Allura kept pushing and pushing them to do it again. Keith finds himself paired with Lance, and he feigns indifference when he allows Lance to continue running into walls in the maze. He knows he’s being petty, but if this rivalry is what Lance wants, then fine.

After a food fight broke out that night, Keith feels himself laughing for the first time in a long time.

When Lance says, “I actually don’t hate you right now,” Keith isn’t sure how to feel about it.

As the weeks go by, Keith becomes more and more accustomed to being surrounded by people who actually care about him. People who he thinks he can actually call his friends. He spends more time with Shiro, gently asking questions about the year he went missing, wanting to comfort him in any way he can.

“I’m fine Keith, really,” Shiro assures him.

But Keith knows he’s lying.

 

_“I’m okay Mrs Williams,” he said, trying to hide the sob that wanted to escape._

_He was four years old, just starting kindergarten. Another boy had teased him in the schoolyard for not having any parents, for being a loner. He’d been pushed down on the ground, and Keith noticed a small trickle of blood starting to fall from his kneecaps._

_“Keith, you have to tell me what happened,” Mrs Williams spoke gently. “If someone hurts you, you need to tell someone so we can help you.”_

_Keith only shook his head. Maybe that boy was right, maybe he didn’t deserve help. Maybe that’s why he was all alone._

 

He leaves it at that, not wanting to push Shiro. He rests a comforting hand on his shoulder, and Shiro sends him a small smile. Keith figures it’s the best he can get for now.

One day when a Robeast is sent by Zarkon to their planet to fight them, Shiro proves his great leadership skills by figuring out a way to stop it, and Keith gets a thrill of excitement when he uses his bayard in his lion to form the Blazing Sword, which allowed them to deliver the final blow and take it out.

They celebrate in the tower, with all of the local Arusian’s invited to come along. Keith finds himself having fun, bonding well with Hunk and their guests. Later, though, he spots Lance walk away from the group, his shoulders hunched over. Coran goes after him, and Keith let’s his worry take over and he follows them as well.

He stands near the door as he listens to Lance and Coran talk in the main control room. He knows he shouldn’t really eavesdrop, but from seeing the dejected look on Lance’s face he can’t help his compulsion to find out what’s wrong. Lance talks about home, about missing the rain and the clear blue sky and his family. Keith doesn’t know much about the last thing, but he wishes Lance wouldn’t hurt anymore. Keith leaves as silently as he came.

When they learn Pidge wants to quit Voltron to find her family, Keith doesn’t know why he raises his opinion, but it gets the better of him.

“We all have families Pidge,” _I don’t._ “Everyone in the universe has families,” _Lance does._ “You’re putting the lives of two people over the lives of everyone else!” Keith can’t stop; it’s eating him up, this need to make sure no one _else_ has to lose their family quickly consuming his thoughts.

Suddenly there’s an explosion, the castle is shaking, and Allura guides them to the source of the noise. They try to see through the smoke, and it finally clears away to reveal the crystal that powers the ship has been destroyed. But Keith’s eyes spot Lance lying on the ground metres away from them, his heart stops and he tries to get his body to move, only Shiro beats him there. He leaves the castle with Allura to make sure the Arusian’s are okay, only to find out it was a trap and they’ve been sealed off from entering back inside.

Allura instructs Pidge through the comms around the castle, and Keith can do nothing but stand there feeling useless. He hates feeling useless. Luckily, the plan worked, and Keith looks up to see Coran and Hunk have returned with a new crystal. They all rush inside and Keith can finally get in on the action, drawing his sword and fending off Sendak when he tried to lunge for Shiro. Just then Lance awakens to shoot Sendak only to immediately collapse again, and Keith breathes, just grateful to see that Lance is _alive_.

He rushes over to Lance, grabbing his hand to pull him up, only to find himself leaning down instead.

“We did it,” Lance murmurs with awe, “We _are_ a good team,” and he smiles right at Keith. He’s struck then by how beautiful Lance is, and it knocks the breath right out of him.

Keith feels his grip tighten, feels something in his chest burst to life. He smiles back, savouring the warmth of Lance’s hand in his own.

 

-

 

The next day the team find themselves waiting in front of Lance’s healing pod until he’s finished recovering. Keith lets his impatience take over, eager just to see Lance being his usual self again. When he finally emerges, Lance reverts back to his playboy tendencies and hits on Allura. Keith hides his scowl, and they all make their way into the dining hall while Coran goes to get Lance some food.

When they tell Lance what happened, he turns to Keith to ask him where he was the whole time.

“I punched Sendak!”

“Yeah, before I emerged from a coma and shot him myself.”

“We had a bonding moment,” Keith hates his voice when it cracks.

“Nope, don’t remember, didn’t happen.” Lance turns away.

And that… hurt.

Keith knows Lance is just trying to get a rise out of him, but he genuinely thought they had connected on some level. Now it looked like they were just back to square one. He keeps his arms crossed, picking at a loose thread on his jacket and zoning out the rest of the conversation.

The castle takes flight, and the view is really quite amazing as they fly through space. They receive a distress signal on a nearby planet, some aliens needing new parts for their ship to be able to take flight again. Lance rushes over to the girl, immediately making his move on her. Keith tries not to look, only slightly thankful when Shiro breaks them up.

They offer to stay and help, only later Lance drags Nyma away to show her his lion, and Keith tries to push down the jealousy he feels from it. When they find out Rolo and Nyma stole the blue lion, they’re quick to go after them, and Keith makes it his mission to personally get it back for Lance. After he finally disables their blasters and stops them mid flight, only then does he smile, paging through to Lance shortly after.

“Hey Lance, I got your lion back.”

“Thank you Keith,” he hears Lance reply, and it sends an odd shiver up his spine at finally being acknowledged. “Now… can you come and unchain me?”

The jealousy comes back so Keith pretends he can’t hear Lance, not even caring that it makes him sound like a child.

 

-

 

While they’re on the planet Balmera, Keith enjoys the time he gets to spend with Lance, working with him, being a team again. Lance showed all of the potential Keith saw in him back at the Garrison with his quick thinking, and suddenly he wanted to learn more about Lance, eager to hear the other boy tell him about his life back home. Keith briefly allows himself to think of the possibility of meeting Lance’s family one day.

They think they’re in the clear once they disable the Galra’s exits, but pretty soon another Robeast lands on the Balmera, and it’s clear that this particular one is going to be harder to beat than the last one. They struggle for ages, needing to retreat, and Allura thinks an ancient ritual will help the Balmera to maintain its life force. The Robeast is finally taken down as it is encapsulated in crystal, and they all collapse in relief.

But with this profession, nothing is ever quiet for long.

 

-

 

After trying to get information out of Sendak while he was under sedation in a pod in the castle, they finally obtain the whereabouts of a Galran transport hub. Allura changes form to blend in, and Shiro decides he should go with her to get the information they need.

When they spot Druids transporting a large quantity of a yellow substance, Keith moves in to pursue them. They manage to find out it’s Quintessence before Keith is discovered on board, and he makes a hasty escape back to the green lion. Shiro finds his way back to them, only panic sweeps over the team when they find out Allura was taken prisoner.

They devise a plan of rescue, but after fighting off some Galran forces Voltron is forcibly separated. Hunk and Allura go to get Shiro when he’s ejected from his lion, and Keith ignores Coran’s advice and charges right at Zarkon. He can feel that rage come back, this need to protect his friends, and while he knows Zarkon is too high a match for him he doesn’t let that stop him.

The black lion saves him after Zarkon lands a strong hit, and he can feel his blood pulsing as they try to escape through the wormhole. When they go through it doesn’t feel right, and pretty soon he’s being thrown about every which way, body shaking when he finally opens his eyes.

His team is gone.

 

-

 

It takes a few weeks until they all find each other again. Keith remembers Shiro telling them once that if they were ever separated, the plan was to stay where they were until the castle radar could pick up on their lions signal.

Everyone was pretty worse for wear, and with no sign of Zarkon or his fleet, Allura decides that they all should lay low and regroup for a while. Keith is secretly thankful for it.

After a quick look at the nearby planets, they make descent on one that has similar attributes to Earth, called Sinneded. They’re all struck by the culture, and the locals even know English. Keith wonders sadly if this is as close to home as they’ll ever get.

They spend the days training harder, weaving the team closer together and practicing their fighting skills during their forming of Voltron.

A couple of weeks in, Pidge tells them that soon they would usually be celebrating Christmas back home. Allura and Coran don’t really see the point in the holiday, but they help the Paladins set up some home-made decorations around the castle regardless.

Keith finds himself smiling more and more, suddenly so grateful that he has his team with him. He falls asleep one night feeling more relaxed then he’s been in ages. He doesn’t remember what he dreams about, but they’re good dreams, he feels safe, he feels like he’s home.

As the days go by he starts to learn more about his teammates. He realizes how much in common he has with Pidge, and he starts to see her as the little sister he never had. Hunk is great, he always makes Keith laugh, and Keith would never admit how much he appreciates his hugs. Allura and Coran are a bit harder to find time with, since they’re always doing something. Shiro is someone Keith talks to the most since he’s known him the longest, and eventually Shiro tells him more about his capture and Keith feels touched that Shiro feels he can confide in him.

And then there’s Lance.

He still feels different around Lance, and lately Lance has begun to treat Keith with small touches. A simple arm around his shoulder; a light punch to his arm; a quick ruffle of his hair (“God dude, when was the last time you got this cut?”) and it was slowly becoming too much for Keith. It was the affection that he had always craved.

He started to seek Lance out more and more, eager for it, standing closer to Lance than he usually did. When Lance would subconsciously lean into him it always made warmth spread in his chest, and slowly Keith grew more confident with returning the small touches.

Keith thinks this might be the happiest he’s ever felt.

The day before they decided would be Christmas day they all went into the city as a group to get each other presents. It had been pretty funny to explain to Allura and Coran the reason behind giving gifts, but eventually the two shrugged and jumped on board with it.

Keith went off on his own, not wanting to spoil the surprise with whatever he planned to get.

When he was younger it had been very rare to receive a present at Christmas. He remembered always getting one on his birthday, some new clothes or shoes, mostly. But Christmas was usually about food and not much else.

 

_“What did Santa leave you for Christmas?” He heard a girl in his class ask her friend._

_“He left me a new bike, as well as that new doll I’ve wanted for a while!” The other girl replied._

_“What about you Kogane?” A boy, Derek, stalked over to ask him, a sneer plastered on his face._

_Keith turned away, not wanting to deal with him. He didn’t want to say he got nothing, he didn’t want to be teased that Santa didn’t like him enough to leave a present. He heard Derek yell at him again to get his attention, so instead Keith got up to walk over to the reading section, drowning out the noise as he tried not to cry._

 

Allura had given them all some local currency, enough to be able to buy small gifts. Keith did his best, buying something he remembered any of the Paladins had mentioned liking at one point. It was nearing the end of the day, and Keith was still stumped on what to get Lance. More than anything he wished he could give the boy his home back on Earth. He walked past a small shop then, and saw in the window a display of goggles that simulated whatever scenery you could imagine. He figured it could work.

That night, after they had spent hours trying to wrap the presents and in the end it spiraled into a wrapping war, Keith went to bed exhausted and content.

The next morning he’s woken up by Hunk and Pidge bursting into his room and exclaiming, “Merry Christmas!” and he’s then promptly dragged out of bed, t-shirt and boxers be damned.

Everyone else is already in the main lounge room, and all of the presents everyone got are in a large pill in the middle of the room. Everyone let’s Pidge go first, and Keith is struck once again by just how young Pidge really is, and suddenly he remembers that time he yelled at her about her family. He feels a pang of guilt, and he vows then to do everything he can to find them for her.

Hunk disappears to go and get some hot drinks for everyone, and pretty soon the floor is littered with wrapping paper and presents, and Keith takes it upon himself to give Lance his present himself.

“Hey,” Keith fidgets a bit, not really looking Lance in the eyes. “I got you something, and I… I hope you like it. It’s to remind you of Earth.” He holds the gift out, and he feels Lance’s fingers brush against his when he takes it.

Lance tears it open, and Keith allows himself to look up to watch Lance’s expression. “You can imagine anything you want when you wear them, so I-I figured you can think about home,” he stammers slightly.

Lance is silent for a few moments. Keith see’s Lance’s hold on it tighten, and he briefly wonders if maybe he made the wrong choice. But then suddenly he’s being pulled into a hug, and all Keith can smell and feel is Lance.

Lance. Lance. Lance.

He lets himself return the gesture, and Lance pulls back with a smile, and then he reaches into his pocket to pull out a small package of his own.

“I’m sorry it’s not much,” Lance says, shuffling slightly. “But when I saw it it just reminded me of you, and the woman said it’s really rare to find and – sorry, I’ll just let you open it,” he laughs.

Keith removed the wrapping carefully, his fingers shaking slightly. The paper falls away to reveal a small stone hanging off the end of some leather string. It’s smooth when he touches it, and there are flecks of gold scattered throughout the deep red. Keith has never been one for wearing jewellery, but he knows then that he’ll never take this off.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, and the grin that Lance gives him was blinding.

 

-

 

On a rare night off, Lance had rounded everyone up to see if they wanted to go and explore the city’s nightlife. Shiro gave a small shrug, saying they deserved to let loose a bit. Pidge stayed behind with Coran, and soon they all made their way into town.

They passed by what looked to be a nightclub of sorts, and Lance made no hesitation to go inside. Something they assumed to be music was playing, and there were too many bodies to count, all of them dancing.

Lance made his way out on the dancefloor, Hunk and Allura close behind him, but Keith and Shiro went and found a booth to sit down in.

“I can’t say I’ve been to many places like these,” Shiro comments.

“Same,” Keith shrugs, just happy that Lance was happy as he watched him from the booth.

After a while the lights went out, and then suddenly the locals dancing began to light up like glow sticks. Keith had to admit it was rather gorgeous. Allura came over to drag Shiro away, and Keith watched with a small smirk as Shiro attempted to keep up with the rhythm.

Suddenly Lance was there, grabbing Keith’s hand too and pulling him towards to crowd. Keith sputtered out some protests, but when Lance started to dance, all suave and confident, all coherent thought flew out of Keith’s head.

He lasted only a few songs before bowing out, but the whole time they had danced he couldn’t take his eyes off Lance, wishing to pull him closer, feel the other boy’s heart, feel his hands roam over his body.

Keith saw Hunk and Shiro near the bar, so he made a beeline for them.

“Man, this feels great, I can’t remember the last time we had a night to ourselves like this,” Hunk says when Keith gets closer.

“It has been rather nice,” Shiro smiles as he looks over to Allura dancing around with Lance.

Later Keith found himself laughing into Hunk’s shoulder when Shiro finished telling them about the first time he drank and then panicked and brushed his teeth several times so his mum wouldn’t smell the alcohol. Keith remembered stealing some beer when he was 14, thinking how horrible it tasted and wondered why people liked it.

Hunk and Shiro left to go and dance again, and Keith began looking around to see where Lance could be. It didn’t take long, the boy did have this ability to stand out in a crowd, and when Keith saw him his heart plummeted to the floor.

Because Lance was kissing someone. He had his hands around a girl’s waist, and Keith saw her move in closer, and –

He had to look away, a feeling of dejection crashing over him in waves. His throat felt dry, so he stalked over to the bar again, shooting back a drink in one go and reveling in its strong taste. His grip on the glass only increased as he ordered another, and he tried to keep the tears from prickling his eyes.

_‘Stupid… Keith, you’re an idiot. Lance can do whatever he wants… he… he…’_

He pushed away from his stool, storming out of there, needing air, needing space. The necklace Lance gave him suddenly felt too heavy on his chest, like it’s got a vice grip around him. When he steps outside he welcomes the cold chill, and he goes to turn away and head back to the castle when he bumps into someone.

“Oh, sorry,” a male voice says.

“No, I—” Keith starts, cutting off when he sees him. The guy is attractive, definitely. His skin is a faint orange colour, but his eyes are a bright blue, his blonde hair slicked back to show off his face. “It’s my fault...”

The guy smiles at him, tilting his head slightly. “Are you leaving?” he sounds disappointed.

“I…” Keith tries not to frown, tries not to think about Lance with that girl. “I’m not sure.”

“How about I buy you a drink?”

Keith thinks about it, ‘No, thanks’ on the tip of his tongue, but what comes out is, “Not here.”

The guy places a hand on the small of his back, and they start walking.

 

-

 

Keith wakes up to the sound of an alarm. He buries his head further into the pillow, begging it to stop. He didn’t even know the castle had an alarm like this. And then a body moves next to him and his eyes snap open.

He takes in the room – it’s not his room back on the ship. Slowly he turns, heart beating faster, and then he sees a guy lying next to him. It all comes flooding back, shame and guilt eating away at him when he recalls the events of last night.

“Sorry about that,” the guys says.

Keith sits up while he lets out a small groan, trying to avoid the guys stare. He draws in a deep breath, and his hand subconsciously reaches up to clutch at the stone.

“Do you not do this often?”

Keith stays still for a bit, and then finally shakes his head once.

“Ah,” the guy says quietly, “Your name was Keith, right?”

Keith allows himself to nod.

“My name isn’t Lance, by the way.”

Keith freezes. Had he really…?

“It’s fine, I didn’t actually tell you my name anyway,” he shrugs noncommittally, “It’s Denzo.”

Keith drowns him out. He stands gingerly to gather his clothes up, hating how exposed he feels. Dressing quickly, he wonders how far away they are from the city.

“Don’t worry,” Denzo says, “We’re not on another planet if that’s what you’re thinking,” he gets up and starts walking over to what Keith assumes is the bathroom. “My building is on a main street, you can get transport home easy from here.”

“Thanks,” Keith makes himself say, not knowing how to end things here.

Denzo stops to look at him, a hand resting on the doorframe. “I don’t suppose you’d want to do this again?”

Keith opens his mouth but no words come out.

Denzo goes back over to the bed, getting a small card from the bedside table. He comes over and hands it to Keith, saying, “If you change your mind.”

Keith hesitates before putting it in his pocket, glancing up at Denzo once more. “Bye, then,” and then he leaves.

 

 When he finds his way back to the castle, he walks into the dining hall and sees both Shiro and Hunk sitting there, deep in conversation. When they spot him, Shiro is quick to get up and walk over to him.

“Keith!” he exclaims, anger and worry fighting to take over his expression, “Where were you, we were worried!”

Keith stops, and he looks over at Hunk, the other man clearly feeling the same. Keith realizes he never told anyone when he left, and guilt takes over again. “Sorry, I…” he trails off, not wanting to explain further.

Shiro sighs softly. “Well, at least you’re okay.”

Keith nods, telling them he just wants to go train for a while. He can feel their stares as he walks away, so he wills his feet to move faster until he disappears from sight.

 

-

 

One day they’re called back into action. Shiro gives them a small speech before they go to their lions, saying this is their chance to get back into the grove of working together again. They form Voltron easy, flying up into space in the direction of the distress signal. It’s not Galran threat, but they’re looters who seem to be surrounding a cargo ship.

It’s simple enough destroying their blasters, and as they direct the cargo ship to fly off Keith summons the Blazing Sword and stabs it right through the two remaining ships like a skewer. They fly back down to Sinneded, dropping off the two ships at the city’s border patrol.

“Well team,” Shiro says over the comms. “Don’t get too cocky, that may have been an easy feat, but remember we always have to stay on our toes.”

Allura calls them all in for a quick debriefing, and Lance announces they should go out to celebrate tonight. Most of them bow out, but Hunk and Lance are still keen.

“How about you, Keith?” Lance asks with a smile.

Keith nods without really thinking about it, not wanting to give away his discomfort at the thought of Lance with someone else. They find themselves in a different bar that night, and just like another slap to the face Keith sees Lance talking closely to another girl while they’re there, their conversation intimate in the darkness of the bar.

Keith excuses himself, going outside to shake off the sob that’s threatening to claw its way from his throat. It’s hotter tonight, the dampness causing his head to hurt. Without a second thought a reaches for the card he knows is still in his pocket and dials the number.

 

-

 

It’s like a pattern.

Keith finds himself calling the number more and more. He doesn’t even think about the aftermath, just wanting to forget what he sees, running away from what he really wants. He always wakes up the next morning feeling worse than before, but it’s like a drug, an escape, and more often than not he hates himself for doing it.

And then one night the team finds out.

Shiro questions where he’s been going at night all the time and Keith thinks about all of the possible scenarios in which this conversation could go.

“We’re kind of worried,” Shiro speaks gently.

Keith stares around at the team, purposely avoiding Lance’s gaze. He finds some courage, and lets himself say, “I’ve sort of… been seeing someone?” It’s not a total lie.

“Oh,” Shiro’s eyebrows rise slightly. “Well that’s fine.”

Keith can feel a lump in his throat, his body shaking slightly as he braces himself, “It’s a guy,” he practically whispers. “I’m… I’m gay.”

The team is silent for a moment. Keith thinks maybe he should have waited. He isn’t ashamed of who he is, but this is his team, their opinion actually _matters_ to him.

 

_“You’re a freak, Kogane!” a kid shouted at him as he walks home._

_Keith had told a boy he sometimes hung out with at lunch that he liked boys. Keith hadn’t thought much of it; he thought it was normal, that it was the same as liking girls. Somehow the information had spread, and_ _lately he’d been confronted by a few of the boys in his year._

_“Go away,” Keith said, quickening his pace. He wouldn’t let them get to him._

_“You’re what my mum calls a sinner,” the kid said, face twisted in disgust. “It’s people like you that make God cry!”_

_He wouldn’t let them get to him. He wouldn’t let them get to him._ He wouldn’t let them get to him.

 

Suddenly he’s surrounded by bodies, warm faces and soft hands causing him to let out a small sob. He draws in a shaky breath and lets his team comfort him, their words of acceptance and supportive touches centering him and he’s so, _so_ grateful.

That night he allows himself to seek Lance out, feeling better lately about everything. He knows he needs to get over this pull, this longing, but he can’t deny himself being in the other boy’s presence.

He finds Lance in his room after knocking softly. He walks in and sees Lance using the goggle simulator he got him and Keith smiles proudly, coming over to sit down next to him on the bed. Lance takes the goggles off and shoots him a beautiful grin. Keith tries to hide his sharp intake of breath.

“So,” Lance starts, “When are we going to meet this guy, hmm?”

Keith’s blood runs cold. Not wanting to arouse suspicion, he says, “Tomorrow - I can bring him around tomorrow.” He hopes his voice comes off more confident than it does.

Lance steers the conversation away after that, and Keith is thankful. Hours pass by and they’re sitting cross-legged in front of each other, and Keith forgets about every bad thing, every worry, and soaks up the warmth that Lance gives him as they talk about nothing and everything.

When he leaves, Lance reaches out to touch his stone quickly, smiling softly. “It really does suit you.”

Keith nods, letting his gaze drown in Lance’s blue eyes. He whispers, “Goodnight.”

Lance says it back before closing his door, and Keith dreams of him that night.

 

-

 

It’s the next day and Pidge asks when Keith is bringing his ‘loverboy’ around. Keith already regrets saying he would invite Denzo over, but he rolls with it. He asks Denzo to arrive at dinner, and Keith tries to get through the introductions quickly. Lance is last, and Keith vaguely wonders if an explosion would be enough to stop this from happening.

“Hi, I’m Lance,” Lance extends a hand.

Denzo shook it out of politeness, but after Lance walked back over to the table Denzo shoots Keith a knowing look.

That night Denzo stays over, and Keith hates how nervous he’s being. Denzo is lying in bed, and Keith starts to fiddle with his stone again as he sits in his place on the edge of the bed.

“Was that the same Lance whose name you said that first night?”

Keith had been anticipating the question, yet it still doesn’t fail to make him go rigid. He contemplates his answer, finally turning to Denzo and saying, “We’re not together, never have been.”

“Doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings for him,” Denzo scoffs quietly, looking away.

“It was a momentary lapse, it didn’t mean anything,” Keith hopes he sounds convincing.

It’s silent for a while, and then Denzo looks at him, a sad smile on his face. “Okay then.”

Keith feels his chest hurt.

 

-

 

They’re woken up by the Voltron alarm the next morning, and Keith tells Denzo to stay here as he suits up. Denzo leans in for a kiss, but Keith uses his helmet as an excuse to avoid it before bolting. They form Voltron quickly, and Allura tells them it’s the first sighting of Zarkon they’ve seen since the wormhole. Shiro tells everyone that they can do this, to remember their training.

It’s a fleet of ships, and they take them down one by one. When more suddenly appear, Hunk uses his bayard to form the Shoulder Cannon which helps them greatly. There’s only a few left, but the blasters from one distracts them long enough for them to land a direct hit on the blue lion.

Keith hears himself yell out, “Lance!” and instinct takes over, the Blazing Sword appearing and charging straight towards the enemy ship.

They slice through it swiftly, and Keith hears Shiro remind him that _he_ calls the shots, but Keith can’t focus right, too worried about Lance’s state of condition. They deliver the final blow and all of the ships have been destroyed, and they quickly make their way back to the castle. Lance is out cold when they pull him from his lion, and Keith feels his heart lodge itself in his throat.

They get him to a pod, and Shiro keeps assuring him that Lance will be alright.

Keith finds himself still waiting by the pod an hour later after everyone is gone. He doesn’t even hear the footsteps behind him as they enter the room.

“Do you love him?”

Keith turns so fast he almost gets whiplash. It’s Denzo.

“He’s my friend,” he gets out lamely.

“That’s not what I asked,” Denzo bites back before sighing lowly.

Keith scrambles to fix it and makes to go and kiss him out of panic, but Denzo stops him before he gets too close. “Don’t,” Denzo's voice sounds tired, like it’s been stripped of a few layers.

Keith lets himself be pushed away slightly, and he hates the guilt that eats away at him. He sees Denzo glance down to the red stone resting open and proud on his chest, and Keith knows Denzo has figured it out.

“I can’t do this,” is what he says, and he gives Keith one last sad smile. “I hope you get him some day.” And then he’s gone.

Keith lets him leave.

 

-

 

Two days later Keith is grateful when Allura says they will be moving on from Sinneded, and they all take their seats in the control room as the castle flies up into the depths of space once again.

Zarkon has been appearing more and more, and none of them are prepared for the toll it leaves on them. One night Lance appears at the threshold of his door, and Keith lets him in like it’s second nature. He wraps an arm around Lance’s shoulder as they sit side by side, and he hopes Lance can’t feel the erratic beating of his heart.

During one fight, before they have the chance to form Voltron, Zarkon gets the upper hand as he tries once again to get the black lion. It’s like déjà vu as Keith charges head first to fend him off, because never again, _never again_ will he allow himself to lose anyone else precious to him.

This is his family.

They make it back to the castle quickly, and there’s no wormhole incident this time as they make their escape. Shiro insists he doesn’t need the pod, but says he’s going to go and lie down for a while.

Keith goes to check on him later, and finds Shiro awake as he stares out of the window.

“Hey,” Keith says in greeting, stepping inside the room.

“Hey, sorry,” Shiro rubs at his arm. “Did you guys need me for something?”

“No, no, you just rest up okay, we’re fine,” Keith smiles, sitting down on the bed.

Shiro watches him carefully, pursing his lips slightly as he does. Keith rolls his eyes a bit, says, “What is it?”

Shiro frowns for a moment before saying, “I’m sorry about Denzo.”

Keith looks to the floor, hoping Shiro might just drop the subject.

There’s a pause, the hum of the castle as it moves becoming a distant noise in his ears. And then -

“It’s Lance… isn’t it.”

Keith feels his eyes grow wide, and his head whips around to look at Shiro. Panic gallops through him, his palms become sweaty as he tries to cultivate a response. “I-I… it’s not-”

Suddenly strong arms wrap around him and he’s pulled into Shiro’s chest. He tries to protest, but he hates how much he needs the comfort. “I don’t need your pity,” he chokes.

“It’s not pity,” Shiro murmurs, his hands gripping tighter. “I’m hugging my friend because he’s hurting, and I hate to see him like this.”

Keith trembles slightly. “How did you know?” 

“I just… saw it, clear as day,” Shiro whispers.

“He’s just…” Keith’s vision becomes cloudy. “Why does it hurt this much?”

Shiro seems to think it over. “It’s what makes us human, I think. Loving is what we do best, and some loves are just… stronger than others.”

Keith feels a gentle hand cup his head, and Shiro’s comforting words allow him to finally break.

For the first time in what feels like years, the barriers crumble down and he lets the tears fall silently to the ground.

 

-

 

The next day, Keith wakes up with his chest feeling lighter than it’s been in a while.

They all train together as a team and work together as a team. But they eat breakfast together and bicker together and laugh together as a family.

Keith doesn’t mind that he spent most of his life without a real family of his own - he thinks... maybe this whole time it had all been leading up to this moment. He looks over at Lance and his heart skips a beat.

He feels the stone under his shirt like he would a bullet through his chest, standing pole-axed as he watches Lance walk over to him with a smile, and he thinks maybe…

Maybe everything will be okay.

 

 

 

 


End file.
